Meteors striking the Earth.
Global warming or dimming.
Iran as a nuclear power.
Suitcase Nukes
Terrorism.
Osama.
Russia's Puty-pute.
Economic Collapse.
And now the nightmare of Methane gas.

There are so many cool civilization ending scenarios we can be afraid of. Fucking awesome. These scenarios are being aired all the time it seems. Entertainment so we'll be "prepared to be scared." I saw a movie at the video store called "Ice Spiders" which appeared to be okay. Truth is, there are so many options to choose from I have little time for medicore doomsday scenarios.

We have a potpurri of doomsday secenarios. Pick your favorite! Scientists have theirs, religious aficinados of every type have their favorites. There are plenty of signs of an apocalyptic conflaguration, you merely have to look for them. Dangerous "Super storms" you say! Great! In the last few hundred years we've been recording meterological data, it clearly shows storms are getting worse.

I think people love the idea of Doomsday. We clamor over the idea and actively search for prophets of doom to thrill us. Heaven's Gate only required Nike running shoes and maybe a castration. Weak. Shit, I'd be drunk, stoned and laying pipe on my last day (No I'm not a plumber). I'm sure I would now the end was near if Elizabeth Shue showed up naked at my door begging to be shagged. I would oblige her last request.

I'm waiting for the reality show that puts ten people in a room awaiting the final destructive act. They can vote other people into the situation rather than out of it.

These doomsday scenarios have something for everyone. If you are a looter you can crash into a Wal-Mart and grab a TV to watch in your final moments on earth. I doubt they'll be much on TV. Maybe the last episode of Seinfeld which will still suck, maybe even more than the first run. When the moment hits you'll know it. Forget about having the tires rotated. You are not going to have the time to do shit but party or cower in fear. Ragnarok baby!

Maybe you'll die in the initial wave of whatever horrendus event occurs. Good, you're out early and suffer little. You have the option to spend every last dime you have on canned food, generators and fuel in preparation. Sure, you'll survive longer but fighting off the hordes of zombies is going to be tiring. You'll shoot first out of fear, then make it a game "Die Zombie Fucker!" After awhile it becomes the same boring and repetitive task, almost like your previous life. You'll get into fights with the wife over it. She'll complain about zombies littering the yard and you'll remind her you kill those fuckers everyday with no thanks.

Toothbrush, Duct Tape, Plastic Wrap, pen-knife. Check. I watch Bear Grylls to keep up with the latest survival skills. 

The great thing is that your government is going to take care of the majority of us in these trying times. There is no need to worry, we can just go about our daily business, give up liberties, rights, yield to higher taxes and the problem will be solved by a undisclosed bill being pushed through Congress nobody has a chance to read. A goverment program will fix everything.

Goodtimes.