The "iPhone."

I don't have one, don't want one, don't need one.

I'm saturated with the bullshit associated with this device. It's just a phone from your favorite fruit company. Apple Computers seems to think they invented the "i" in their product names. I think not. Here's why...

My great Grandfather I Phineas Allison invented the use of the word "i" not Apple Computer. He often spoke of himself in the third person, as "I" was his first name (pronounced Aye, which in Gaelic means "yes" as an affirmation of a sacred oath).

"I'd say this is the best apple pie in all of the Tennessee territories Miss Ethel!" he'd exclaim. Commenting on a well prepared dish of greens beans, he would often claim possession of them and refer to them as "iPods." This because of his sole preparation of the dish (to perfection). It was primarily used in context that it was owned or prepared by a one I Phineas Allison. Referring to himself in the third person was the impetus for others to do this much later. It was used by others to denote "If it's good enough for I Phineus Allison, it's good enough for me." Simply due to the respect an admiration of I Allison.

For the love of all things holy, the blessed virgin and Christ the Savior, let's give credit where credit is due, A Scots-Irishman from the deep South who held his head high and respected himself enough to refer to himself in the third person.

In days of old, 'iPhone" would simply mean the telephone belonged to a one I Phineas Allison. Nothing more, nothing less.

Knowing the beloved Mr. Allison, he would have used a Blackberry rather than Apple's cell phone.